Weekly Whistle 4

Weekly Whistle 4

A tragedy of Shakespearean proportions

Has any division in all of sports been this disturbingly awful like what the Atlantic Division is right now?

Consider that the top team in the Division, the New Jersey Nets, sports a sparkling 6-9 record. Four of the five teams have a winning percentage of less than 38% with the Nets not really that far ahead with a 40% winning percentage.

The division reeks of so much tragedy Shakespeare might have a field day just thinking of compelling ideas for a tragedy.

Here are a few suggestions:


1) Make Red Proud

Their patriarch dies before the season. The man led them to nine championships, assembled the greatest teams in history and is one of the most influential people in the history of the NBA. The team dedicates the entire year to his memory, with a mission to “make Red proud.”

Then they end up with the worst season in Celtics history. So much for restoring tradition

2) The Deserted Brother

They play in a country that only cares about hockey.

Their mascot looks like Barney’s ‘roided up cousin.

Except for Chris Bosh, they have the worst 2-12 lineup in the league.

Sam Mitchell is their coach.

Nothing can be as tragic as this.

3) Allen

After holding down the gates of Philly for over a decade, and having nothing to show for it, Allen Iverson gets tired of all the empty promises of a better team and strangles General Manager Billy King.

The ironic twist? The Philadelphians will love him for it.

4) The Four Hogs of Broadway

Four egotistical, selfish ball hogs on one team. That, in itself, speaks volumes on how bad that team is.

You’d think it can’t get any worse, right?

Not if you realize that those four players are ALL POINT GUARDS!

Don’t be surprised if they end up killing each other because someone was “hugging the ball a little too much”

5) Wildly Inconsistent

Lose six in a row. Win 11 in a row. Lose five in a row. Win seven in a row.

That basically summarizes the Nets season.

If you’re a Jersey fan, that’s enough mood swings to last you an entire year.


I’m beginning to think that the only team to crack .500 will be The Nets (barely) and the rest of the division will finish with a -.455 season. From the way it’s shaping up, that scenario is becoming more and more likely.

If it does happen, you read it here first!

Players of the Week:

East: Dwight Howard – Earning his second Player of the Week honor, Dwight has the Magic on a tear. Howard notched up averages of 21 points, 15 rebounds and 3 blocks during the week as the Magic extended their winning streak to six games.

When I went to a taping of Quite Frankly in New York, I wanted to ask Stephen A. Smith who he thought was going to beast up the league in the coming years, Amare or Dwight?

While I never got around to asking SAS that question, the answer’s becoming really clear.

West: Steve Nash – With respects to Kobe Bryant and his jaw-dropping performance last Friday, Steve Nash gets the nod for Western Conference Player of the Week.

(Editor’s note: I was one of those who was bummed to find out that Nash traded in his long locks for a shorter crew-cut in the off-season. It meant that we couldn’t call him Hair Canada anymore, which is really one of the coolest nicknames out there.)

Leading the Suns to a six game winning streak, MVP has been also been MEP (Most Efficient Player) for the Suns by posting averages of 22 points, ten assists while shooting 51% from the field in the past week.

Have you ever seen a line like this from anybody? 51% from the field, 47%(!!!) from 3’s and 90% percent from the line.

Quiet and unassuming greatness – that’s what Nash is all about. Don’t worry Steve, you’re getting love from the Whistle.


Kobe v2

Kobe Bryant?

Name sound familiar?

Oh yeah, isn’t he that basketball player fellow? Whatever happened to him? Is he still playing?

The first month of the season sure didn’t look like it. I mean, yeah, he WAS technically playing, but it wasn’t the Kobe Bryant we’ve come to love (or hate, whichever side of the fence you’re on).

He was actually passing the ball, playing within the system of the triangle offense.

Where was 35 points-per-game-Kobe?

Well, The Kobe Show returned with a huge bang last week as Bryant dropped 52 points on the Jazz and looking more like his old number 8 self again. You have to feel bad for Kirilenko. A week earlier he was responsible for locking down Kobe in a Jazz win at Salt Lake City, and you know how Kobe likes to take things personally. So really, we should have seen this coming.

Steve Kerr made a good point during the game when he noticed that Kobe had his game face on, that unmistakable scowl of his that you know something special was going to happen that night.

And boy, did he deliver, and in the process, he put the whole league on notice.

Kobe’s back, baby.

He was making shots from all angles he made Andrei Kirilenko, one of the games premier defenders, look like a blond Antoine Walker. It was so effortless that even Phil Jackson, ever the stoic statue on the bench, got up and gave him a high-five as he was going back to the bench.

What’s most impressive about this performance wasn’t the 52 or the 30 points in the third quarter (where he made 11 straight shots). It wasn’t even the 19 for 26 shooting he had.

It was that most of his points came in the flow of the triangle offense. Everything was in groove, and in synch. Even better, Kobe is beginning to trust his teammates even more. The lack of which, led to their demise in the playoffs last year.

As they say, defeat changes a man. It makes him stronger, faster, and wiser.

From the way the season has gone, the biggest change in Kobe this year is not the number on his jersey.

Quote of the Week:

"What is venom? I've only been here eight years, guys." - Dirk Nowitzki, reminding his audience that there are still few English words he hasn't been exposed to yet.

He was asked to respond to coach Avery Johnson's recent assertion that bad blood between the Mavs and San Antonio Spurs is "great" because you don't get venom "if there aren't two good teams."